Safety Code

If your not the sharpest knife in the drawer, the "Safety Code" below is a parody. You know, a joke!

1. Materials: My rocket will be made of lightweight materials in order that they can be destroyed if the police show up.

2. Motors/Engines: I will use only non commercially made, uncertified rocket motors in the manner recommended by the manufacturer. I will to the best of my ability, alter the rocket motor, it's parts, and ingredients in any way possible.

3. Recovery: I will at least spend twelve hours recovering after a heavy night of drinking before firing any explosive-filled rockets.

4. Weight and Power Limits: None.

5. Stability: If at any time, I discover I am becoming mentally stable, I will resign.

6. Payloads: I will launch only interesting and/or dangerous payloads, but never live animals. I will kill them first.

7. Launch Site: I will ensure that the launch site is free from police surveillance before firing.

8. Launcher: I understand that launching modified rockets can be dangerous. Therefore, in order to protect my eyesight, I will get someone else to press the button.

9. Launch System: The system I use to launch my rocket will be remotely and electrically operated. (Hood open on car, apply pressure to wires on Positive/Negative posts of battery.) All persons will remain at least 15 feet from my rocket when I am igniting rocket motors.(50 feet for 'O' motors and above.) I will use whatever it takes to ignite my rocket on the first try so I don't look stupid.

10. Launch Safety: I will wait until an unsuspecting person approaches before launching. In the absence of a person, I will try to takeout model aircraft or large dogs.

11. Flying Conditions: I will launch my rocket whenever I feel like it. I will launch my rocket so it flies into clouds, near aircraft in flight and so that it is hazardous to people and property.

12. Pre Launch Test: When conducting research activities with unproven designs, especially if explosive materials are involved, I will not tell anyone. I will verbally announce "Watch This" and then I will launch my rocket.

13. Recovery Hazards: If my rocket becomes entangled in a power line or any other dangerous place, I will score 5 extra points. I will never try to recover rockets from power lines without first using a cat or other small animal to check for current. Rubber gloves and boots must be worn. If the cat won't put them on, shoot it.


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